How do me and my dad cope with my mom doing a disappearing act and stating she isn't coming back? [closed]

Question

My mom has recently become an illegal immigrant in England; she's admitted it as such via her Instagram.

She just upped and left, with no real warning; my dad is devastated.

I'm 25/F and an only child. I have a good relationship with both my parents.

There were no big life events that caused this; only a week ago we'd been celebrating my dad getting a promotion and me having lived for a year in my new city in Canada (I'm dual Canadian/US Citizen); he lives in the U.S. but my dad is Canadian, Mom is American if that makes sense.

He lives in AZ, in the U.S. but I'm in Vancouver, BC. (sorry for using state abbreviations here)

Given how illegal immigration is a hot-button issue in the U.S. this is probably an odd question for you to deal with, and this is partially about immigration, but coping with my mom doing a disappearing act.

All we can glean from her Instagram is:

Not coming back until the President is out of office or impeached; we don't need FUCKING PSYCHOS like him there who grab women's pussies. I'm staying in England and am gonna claim asylum there then come back to the US when he's out of office. Or I may just gonna stay in England forevah! > Woooooot!!

and a selfie of her in a tiny croptop and hot pants.

There was also one other Instagram post saying she'd never renounce her U.S. citizenship and it was full of personal attacks directed at the current administration.

My dad is devastated and can't understand why she'd just disappear and move to a new country and claim asylum like this. He's not depressed yet, but I worry he could be.

He's said he wants to talk more with me about this, but doesn't know what more he can say about it; he feels shocked and upset.

I feel pretty upset too, but have no idea how to cope; I had a great relationship with my mom.

I'm looking for advice on how to cope, as she's only been gone from the U.S. for three weeks now, and it doesn't seem likely that she may return.

Answer 1

There's no explicit question here that is on topic for this site, but there is an implicit question about immigration status, perhaps for each of your parents.

I presume that your father is a lawful permanent resident (LPR) in the US, that is, that he has a green card. If that is the case then he has nothing to worry about as far as his immigration status is concerned unless he is a "conditional" LPR. A spouse will have conditional LPR status if at the time of immigrating to the US the marriage is less than 2 years old. It is then necessary to apply for removal of conditions between 21 and 24 months after immigrating. Since you are 25, it seems extremely unlikely that your father is a conditional LPR.

Your mother will probably have been admitted to the UK for six months, which is the standard period of admission for visitors. She can legally stay there for six months, but she should be aware that if she stays substantially longer than she said she was planning to stay when she entered, the UK will probably find that she used deception, which will lead to her being refused admission on subsequent visits.

It's also possible that she could be found not to be a genuine visitor if she had the intention to remain in the UK when she entered. In that case, her six-month leave to enter the UK will be curtailed, and she could be deported sooner than that.

She has indicated a desire to apply for asylum. That application will certainly fail. If she refuses to leave the UK when she is told to, or at the end of six months if she's not told otherwise, she risks being detained under truly awful conditions, perhaps indefinitely, until she can be removed to the US.