I am an italian guy that wants to move away from my country to Germany (actually Berlin) for a lot of good reasons.

I will not list the pro and cons, but just the fact i want to move to become a musician.

So far i have been in a lot of bands here and currently i am creating a new one that's doing pretty well. The fact is... that i decided to go away.

It's not a big news, people around me knew already for years that i wanted to move but after being in Berlin, it's now a fact, and the problem is:

I don't really now how to handle this thing with my personal life.

I don't know when i will move. But to me it doesn't make sense to develop new friendships or playing with my band knowing that sooner or later i will leave them behind; moreover not telling them anything will make me feel guilty, but on the other side i don't want to live the -i hope months- here in Italy (i already have contacts and everything but i have still a lot of things to do) with a sort of alienated isolationism just waiting for the move.

Maybe the question is too broad and i don't know if it fits the current community purposes and i am not also sure if it fits the Q&A format.

So i will ask again: how to handle personal life (family, work, friends, in my case -but more importantly- my band) when deciding to move (i hope forever!) in another country (by your experience of being an expat)?

1 Answer 1


Talk about your plans with your friends so they can prepare themselves emotionally for your eventual departure. Similarly, you meet new acquaintances, mention your plans early on so they know what they're dealing with.

As your plans become more definite, for example when you pick a date for your move, mention them to your friends, and discuss them with those who show interest.

There's probably no need to stop playing with your band, but you can stop now if you want. It depends on your relationship with the band, I suppose. You will have to stop at some point; it could just as well be now as 9 months from now, or whenever.

If you feel like you or the band are investing a lot of time and effort into the band's future, and you don't want to put this effort into a band you're about to leave, then maybe you should leave sooner rather than later. On the other hand, if you like the band and want to keep playing with them as long as possible, do so.

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