After author's clarification, I'm adding the answers to the "where are you from" question.
Here are some answers I use to give to the "where are you from?" (I somewhat tested most of them):
Workable
- All over
- I moved around
- From different places
- I'm a universal soul/world citizen/global citizen/citizen of the world (sometimes becomes a mocking topic)
- I came from [name the last country visited] (sometimes becomes a mocking topic)
- I am from [name the last country visited] (sometimes becomes a mocking topic)
- I am living/live in [country]
- I have no simple answers to short questions
- I'm multi-local
- I don't consider myself a part of any particular country
Funny
- I'm not (and then start asking personal questions or "where are YOU from?", "oh, from the US, I like McDonald's")
- Well, if you can't tell does it matter?
- I'm am a mongrel/monggy
- Uh, you know, here... There... You know how it is..!
- I wear many hats
- Krakozhia / Mordor / Tatooine / etc
- Taiga / Europe / Asia etc
Rude
- That depends
- From my mom/a woman/womb
- It's insignificant/inconsequential/unimportant
- I don't care / It doesn't matter (to me)
- My origin is unimportant to me
- Does it matter?
- Depends on what do you mean and why do you want to know
- I'm not into labels
- Why's this important right now?
- Well, thank you (and then start asking personal questions i.e. "are you married?", "why?", "when are you going to get married?")
- How much time do you have?
Pretentious
- Perception stains reality
- I possess no personal designation/categorisation
- I have no place of personal association
Suspiciously weird
- I cannot answer this question
- It's not my favourite topic
- This question makes me feel uncomfortable
Not helpful
- Lived in [name the countries you lived in]
- Was born in [country] (but lived in [countries])
Untested
- I'm anational/nationless (derived from your topic in English Stack Exchange)
- I'm cosmopolite/cosmopolitan
- I'm transcultural/intercultural
- I'm extraneous
- Who I am is completely independent from my heritage
- I don't deem myself coming from a particular place
- My home is where I am (stand)
- My home is where I'm happy
- I don't belong
- I can't name any particular place